Funny pinoy sms text jOkes Part 8

TEACHER: give me colors dat begin w/ letter M.


PUPIL: maroon!

Teacher:anybody else?

NGONGO: Mlue, Mlawn,Mlack,Mink,Maiolet.


Teacher: melly gud..
malakmakan!
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Ang Alamat ng WAKA-WAKA.

Noong unang panahon,sina Pedro at Juan ay gumagawa ng homework sa Geography. Nainis si Pedro kasi hindi makita ni Juan ang Africa sa mapa.

P: (kinukuha ang mapa) Amin na, mina.
J: Eh eh, wag ka wag ka, eh eh.
P: Amin na, mina.Sa kalewa.
J: Alam na, Ah ah.
P: Amin na, mina.
J: Eh eh. Wag ka, wag ka. Eh eh.
P: Amin na, mina, sa kalewa. coz this is africa.
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"sa BEER aq naging gag0.

"sa GSM aq naging trantad0.

"sa REDH0RSE aq nging brumbd0,

Per0 SAY0 aq nagbag0"

.mas matindi kc tama mu.
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Manny:nay,pila ka liters ang 5000ml nga pepsi?

Di0nesia:5anak. Manny:shur ka nay?

Di0nesia:yisbebe. Liter P, Liter E, Liter P, Liter S,
ug
Liter I=

5liters!

Funny pinoy sms text jOkes Part 7

A naked girl takes a taxi…
Naked Girl: “Bakit ka nakatitig sa katawan ko, ngayon ka lang ba
nakakita ng hubad?”
Driver: “Hindi po miss, iniisip ko lang kung saan nakatago ang
pamasahe mo!”
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Beauty contest
Emcee: What’s the big problem facing the country today?
Contestant: Drugs.
Emcee: Very good! Why do you say that?
Contestant: Ang mahal kasi eh!

Funny pinoy sms text jOkes Part 6

KNOW YOUR DNA
DNA is a nucleic acid that is localized in cell nucleus and consists of two long chains of nucleotides twisted together into a double helix and joined by hydrogen bonds between complementary bases adenine and thymine or cytosine and guanine.
It carries the cell’s genetic information and hereditary characteristics via the equence of its nucleotides.
Thus, people are identified by their unique DNAs, such as:
Prostitute:
DNAvirgin
Old Maid:
DNAgamit
Bachelor:
DNAkasal
Arab:
DNAgaahit
Insomniac:
DNAmakatulog
Constipation:
DNAkakatae
Water Conservationist:
DNAliligo
Bin Laden:
DNAhanap at DNAhuli
Gloria Macapagal Arroyo:
DNAaamin.
Town Fiesta:
DNAyo
Loser:
DNAya
Uncircumcised:
DNAtuli
Bisexual:
DNAmauri
Pandak:
DNAtumangkad
DNAtawa kayo? Kung di kayo natawa, DNAkayo uling papadalhan ng ganitong klaseng Pinoy joke
O eh ‘di s’ya. . . DNA ako magtatagal

Funny pinoy sms text jOkes Part 5

BF: luv can i wedding u?
GF: hahaha!
BF: y is ur lafing?
GF: hahaha! i will lafing bcoz is very wrong graming!
hahaha, perFect combination jud!

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SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL:

isang gabi sumakay ako ng jeep pauwi.

lahat ng pasahero naktatitig sakin, wlang umiimik.

Cnubukan ko magbayad...

pero d nla inaabot ang pera ko...
knilabutan ako..

may isang matandang babae bumulong sakin...

"d ka na dapat naparito, umalis ka na habang kaya mo pa..."

napalunok ako, ano hong ibig nyong sabihin?"

"kasabot ka ug FAMILY USE ONLY?"

butange!

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Nakabalo ba ka nga 10% lang sa africanz ang itom?

Kay ang remaining 90% kay ITOM KAAYO..

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....ayaw mo og kabalaka anang 2012 END of the WORLD, dli na tinuod..

ang ebidensya?
naa mi beefloaf dri sa amoa, mo expire 2013..
hahaha!
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Funny pinoy sms text jOkes Part 4

1 day nlaag ko..
& dn, i saw my bf kyog 1 ka gurl..
swet au cla..
ntxt ko nia..
"hi wer u..?
wa xa nreply
taz gha2d nia ang gurl..
later ntxt xa naq.
Saying:
"baby xinxa na now lang q reply, nka2log q. wer u?
i said 'naa dri, naglaroylaroy.. nagita ug higmaon nga dli bakakon..
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Ang laway daw ay mas importante kaysa luha..
Kasi, kahit sino pwede mong iyakan..
Pero ang laway 22lo lang yan sa taong gus2 mong tikman!
Estoryaheee!!

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Gf: doc knusta naman akong bf?
Doc: pu2l na ang tiil ug ang kamot!
Gf: (cried) doc, dli q mkadawat ana..
Doc: joke r oi,.. patay na btaw!
hahaha!!

Funny pinoy sms text jOkes Part 3

"Love is like an ice cream"

May cho'KULET sa panliligaw.

MELON naman

"UBErs sweet.

May "BERRY"

sensitive....

Meron din mga

MANGGA'gamit..

Bakit? di VANILLA' alam na maskit mag MOCCA'ng tanga sa FUDGE'-ibig?

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3 ka buang naghuot sa 1 kakatre.

B1: huota oi, naugi behh?

B2: cge munaog q.

(ninao ang b2 nga buang.)

B3: oh, luag nah! balik na dri!

Buang jud!

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Boy: piste! ataia! inlove naq nimu.

Girl: yawa man d i ka? dugay ra q nghulat ana

Boy: litse! nganung karon pa man pud ka gasulti?

Girl: animal! alangan namag aq maguna2x? buang ka  man d i?

Boy: atay! tonto  man d i pud ka!

Oh, I LOVE YOU!

Girl: piste ui! I LOVE YOU TOO!

Funny pinoy sms text jOkes Part 2

Manager: ikaw naba ung aplicant?
Juan: Opo maam.
Manager: eh bat ganyan suot mo? Bat naka trunks at shades kapa? Ano ba inaaplayan mo?
Juan: SUMMER job po!

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6 things na i wish isulti sa aq parents naq.

1. Nak mata na pro if ka2gon paka 2g lang sa, pagpa late nalang sa  subject nimu.
2. Oh, dara alowance nimu, dungagan pana naku panlaag nimu.
3. Nanimaho kag the BAR, nag jaming mu? Wa mn q nmu ingna mo cheap in unta q.
4. Gabie na 2g na, shoppingann pa bya ka naq ugma.
5. Naa imu uyab nak,  Ako pasudlun sa imu kwartu?
6. Nitawa n u teacher. Hagbung daw ka, ghe lang napa btw nxt sem.

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ANGELINA: look yaya oh, myay dugo sa daliri ko.
YAYA: ay wawa nman c angelina q! halika sipsipin q ang dugo. Ayan wla nang dugo. Bakit ka ba nasugatan ha bata ka? Ang lekot lekot mu kasi.

ANGELINA: whatever yaya. who told you ba nasugatan me? I make tiris tiris lang naman of the kuto of a dog and i put it into my kamay. then you make sipsip. Yuck yaya! you're so tanga, you're such a loozer!
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Ex-lovers nagkatupad sa simbahan.
Girl: kadugai magsugod sa misa uie, unsa nay Oras?
Boy: wla kkoy orasan.
Girl: Ows? Two timer wlai  orasan?

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BF: kahibaw ka bhe mura jud kag tanom.
GF: (gikilig) ikaw jud bhe.. y man kuno bi?..
BF: ang2x ugaton man kag tiil..
Toinkzzz hahaha!

Funny pinoy sms text jOkes Part 1

Best Forwarded Pinoy Sms JOkes

KONDOKTOR: saka na larga na ang jeep.
PASAHERO: dong nako dala tahop sa baboy.
KONDUCTOR: day sa  baka na!
PASAHERO: Sa baboy gani ni!
KONDUCTOR: sa baka lage.
PASAHERO: nabuang ka sa baboy ni...!
KONDUCTOR: buang pud ka sa baka gani na..
PASAHERO: yati ra, tahop pakoon nimo sa baka?
KONDUCTOR: yati pud ka, kabalong huot na. sabaka na na imung dala!

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Boy: laro tayo?
Girl: anung laro?
Boy: taguan..
Girl:  Bakit ngayon pa?
Boy: Becoz tonight will be the nyt dat i will fall 4 you.
Girl: ulet??
Boy: over again.
Girl: wag na!
Boy: don't make me change my mind.
Girl: bukas nalang.
Boy: I wont live to see another day.
Girl: weh? Di nga?
Boy: I swear it's true.
Girl: bakit kc taguan pa?
Boy: becoz a gurl like u s impossible to find.
Girl: ano?
Boy: ur impossible to find!

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I'm thinking U.I want to be with u. I am longing for u. I have a crush on u. I want to hug u. I love u.
Ikaw love mo rin ba ang letter u?
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Nindot ang mahiguma ug duha.

usa importante,
usa gipalum.

basta wala ang usa, pwede adto sa usa.
pero what if mawala silang duha?
mangita kapa ba ug lain?
oh atubangun nimu ang kamatuoran nga
dapat diay unta tulo sila.

Don't do this to you Parents

Here’s a letter from parents in response to their son’s request . . .
Dear Anak, (trans) dear Son
Naipadala na namin ang 50 thousand pesos na pang-tuition fee mo, pinagbili na namin ang mga kalabaw natin.
(trans) We have sent the P50k for your tuition fee, we have sold our carabaos.
Wala na rin pala tayong mga baboy at naibenta na rin para dun sa sinasabi mong project nyo na NOKIA N75, ang mahal naman ng project na yun, ano? (trans) We no longer have any pigs either. We sold these for your NOKIA N75 project. That’s such an expensive school project, huh?
Kasama na rin ang 7 thousand dun para sa field trip nyo sa MALL OF ASIA, anak malayo ba yun? Mag-iingat ka sa pagbibiyahe mo ha. (trans) This includes the P7k for your class field trip to the MALL OF ASIA, is it that far away?
Isasanla nga pala namin ang palayan natin para mabili mo na yung instrumentong I-POD na kinakailangan mo sa laboratory nyo. (trans) We are also about to hock our ricefields so you can buy that laboratory instrument you call an IPOD.
Anak kamusta na pala yung group project nyo na SANMIG LIGHT napailaw nyo na ba? (trans) Son, how was your group project SANMIG LIGHT? Were you able to light it up?
Mataas ba nakuha nyo na grado dun. Anak sana bago pa maubos ang lahat lahat ng arian natin ay maka gradweyt kana. Walong taon ba talaga ang kurso mong SECRETARIAL? (trans) Did you get good grades in that? Son we hope that you could graduate before we lose everything else. Will that SECRETARIAL course have to go on for 8 years?
Sana pag-graweyt mo makakuha ka agad ng trabaho kagaya ng manager ng kumpanya para mabawi natin ang mga ari-arian nating nasa sanglaan. (trans) When you graduate we hope you can get a job straightaway as a manager of a company so we can recover our property in the pawnshops.
Naaawa nga kami sa iyo kasi sabi mo sa turo-turo ka lang palagi kumakain. Ok ba naman sayo ang mga ulam dyan sa JOLLIBEE, MAK DONALD, KFC at Chowking? Konting tiis at tyaga lang at makakaraos ka rin. (trans) We feel sorry for you because you said you have to eat at street eateries. How is the food at JOLLIBEE, MCDONALD, KFC and CHOWKING? (takeaway places) Just a bit more sacrifice and perseverance and you will get through this.
Anak hanggang dito nalang at sa susunod na naming ipapadala ko sayo ang pera na pambili mo ng ALTIS na gagamitin mo sa VACANT SUBJECT mo. (trans) Son we will send you the money to buy the ALTIS which you will use in your VACANT SUBJECT. (not too sure what this last sentence means)
Ang nagmamahal (trans) Lovingly
Itang at Inang /Dad and Mum
P.S. Anak mag aral ka ng mabuti. (trans) Son study well.